Three Great Ideas
I feel like a genius, great ideas keep coming to me too fast to even write a single one down. I have three right now.
Green Corn
As I was laying around hating myself for deciding to get my money’s worth at all you can drink 10-2 saturday night the topic of corn came up. I view myself as a humanitarian, always looking to better the world for the sake of all of the world. Corn as you probably know is a food. Arguably it’s not a very healthy food, which is good, because that’s why this invention works. Humans have a hard time digesting this golden food product so when you eat it… it comes back. Regardless of health related issues people will still eat it. I’ve decided we should make the best of it by recycling the corn.
Using my patent pending hypothetical technology known as Kernel Recognition Technology (KRT) my invention will sift through human waste searching for corn. The CornCleaner will attach to any drain line of a house and collect good corn for reuse. The corn will be stored in a special Rubber Maid container that will email you when your corn is 80% full and ready to be harvested. I think as technology progresses SMS reminders and additions to your google calendar telling you to change the corn holder may also be available. Through special grants and government funding I’d hope to make this invention free for anyone.
Increased Donation Dollars by Eliminating Awareness
Last week my cellphone bill was ready so I popped onto the Verizon Wireless site to pay it. On the first page was something I just can’t get away from seeing. “Text [somenumber] to send $10 to Haiti.” Then that’s when the light bulbs started going off. My thought is that the point of fund raising is not to annoy people, but to raise money. The problem here is even if I give all the money I can to support the cause I’m still subjected to daily reminders that I need to be donating money. It’s not really fair and I think there’s a better way.
Each charity should have a Do Not Solicit limit and maybe levels leading up to it. For example, you decide you’ll donate $30 to Haiti. Next Ads for Haiti do not appear on your phone’s web site or on channels you only sometimes watch. $100 might get you most sites, your cable channels and maybe stop you from having to run a 5K, $200 and you never have to hear about Haiti donations again. This girl at work argued with me that my idea might lower donation dollars but I don’t think so. I think the people who are going to donate big bucks will already do that anyway and the people like me who don’t really donate will donate to save our sanity.
Some charity organizations should have time limits though. For example if you pay $200 to an AIDS or Cancer organization your tribute only lasts for X amount of time. Haiti will be rebuilt but Diabetes isn’t cured yet. Charity will need to be categorized. There’s no way I can donate to every cause, and there might even be some I don’t believe in. A few weeks ago during Holmes on Homes Sarah McLachlan hosted a commercial about saving poor hungry, cats. Yes I know some of you are like “YES CATS ARE MISTREATED EVERY DAY” but honestly there are so many other things I’d want to give my money to before cats. For this reason a final donation category should be created called “OPT OUT”.
After you’ve paid X dollars to four different classifications of charity you pay an additional larger sum to OPT OUT to remove the remainder of ads for your life for one calendar year. OO will take its money and redistribute it amongst all the remaining legitimate charities by % of donations they usually receive. So if it shows American Red Cross receives 50% of all American dollar donations per year they get 50% of OO money. This will stop people for starting random charities and gaining money through the program.
New Facebook Filters
There’s a serial flaw in the way Facebook does privacy. Either someone can see a certain feature or they can’t. I can block you from seeing all my wall posts or you can see them. I think a better approach would be able to block people based on words that appear in the posts. Someone decides to say all sorts of naughty words all over my wall, well now I can set that as a filter and none of my coworkers can see that. I don’t want to block them from seeing my entire wall; that doesn’t seem fair.
I just don’t want want to end up like my coworker Earl who constantly has his status updates say crude and unusual things. I think this would also be great for all of you like me who have family on their FaceBook. Hi Mom look at my awesome wallpost about my friends talking about me getting wasted and pissing off the roof of their condo!
