How to Be Internet Creepy
So maybe you’re a creepy dude in real life. People can tell and you’re thinking, “Man I’d really like to be more creepy in all aspects of my life, especially the Internet.” Well I’ve brainstormed a few ideas you can try out if you already haven’t.
eBay-Paypal-FaceBook
This one is easy and perfect. Go on eBay and sell some stuff, whatever you want, whatever you think a girl might purchase. College books would probably be a good bet. For maximum creeping and minimal investment you can buy used books and just turn around immediately and sell them. Chicks are into a lot of psychology and marketing, I’d start there.
Once your item is purchased and paid for with Paypal you will have that person’s name, address, email address and possibly even phone number. Use that information to look them up on Facebook.
Recent studies show that girls on Facebook actually really enjoy being personally contacted by people they would only consider vendors and being complimented on their looks. It doesn’t matter how many miles apart you and said female are make sure you unveil all your ideas behind relationships, marriage and your favorite scenes in Star Wars. Love knows no boundaries.
If it’s starting to seem like she’s not really digging this contact you’re not out of luck yet. Accidentally put some bank receipts showing your incredibly high checking account balance, because you have nowhere to go and spend it on, inside the front cover of the book. Once she gets the book and realizes you’re loaded things will surely turn around.
Between this and Craigslist I’d say it’s how I’ve met 95% of the girls I’ve dated.
Start a FlickR Account
Maybe you weren’t aware but there is a world of people just like you out there who have an extreme fetish for women’s ankles and perfect elbows. So what next? I wish I could take all the credit for the genius in this idea but unfortunately I stole this master plan from some other freaky dude who left comments on a picture for me once.
First create a FlickR account if you don’t have one already. Use an alias that is similar to what your interests are in my pretend scenario I’ll use the name “AnkleBoi69″. Make sure if you post any photos to mark them private, this way when people visit your page they won’t know what you’re actually uploading. Type in your favorite fetish words into Flickr’s group finder join the groups that might interest you.
Next comes the more difficult part. You’ll need to scour FlickR for people who aren’t already posting photos in your group and can relate to your interests. Once you’ve found these photos make sure to comment on the “sexy ankels” or “beautiful thumbs” whatever does it for you. If you’re the admin of a fetish FlickR group, invite them to share their photo there. When the person clicks on your name to find out more about you they won’t see any photos but they’ll get a glimpse at all the really sweet groups you belong to.
Post Stalk on Facebook
After you’ve friended a bunch of people you barely know on Facebook make sure you religiously hit F5 and look for their posts. The second something new comes out, comment on how hot the girl looks, or how awesome her post was. Do this for every post, if they don’t respond, do it more.
Write on their wall like you guys are old chaps, talk about things that happened three years ago the one time you met them like it was yesterday; “LOL remember when Jack spilled the beer on himself LOL THAT WAS SO FUNNY!” Talk about how you guys need to catch up on old times, constantly.
